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bored

poem.

just something that's been in my head:

when i think of beauty

when i think of beauty
i hear the click-click-click of my grandmother's heels.
her pink lipstick on wrinkled lips,
from which springs a hesitant
"do you like what i'm wearing?"
the question resounding of a teenage girl
desperate for attention
the moment of apprehension
before the compliment makes her beam,
and later:
eyes shining in conversation
hands wildly gesticulating,
voice dancing
is what i think of
when i think of beauty.

when i think of beauty
i smell my mother's j'adore dior perfume.
mixed in with hairspray, conditioner and the dusty smell of rarely-worn velvet.
my mother in a ballgown, glamorous and gorgeous,
letting me zip up her dress and approve of her outfit,
and still taking time
to hassle me about school work
and college choices
and the perpetual mess of my room.
understated elegance
loving reminders and
dinner left out for me in the kitchen
is what i think of
when i think of beauty.

when i think of beauty
i taste vanilla-roisbos tea, brownies and chickpea curry.
my best friends, in pajamas, no make-up
on sleepy friday nights
drained from the week, silences longer than conversations
a comfortable hum over food and movies.
stretching out on a bed,
noses nearly touching
breaths mingling
not much left to say
as the world spins on without us for the night.
blooming zits and shadows under eyes
laughter, hugs and now-familiar smells
the strength of mutual, silent understanding
is what i think of
when i think of beauty.

when i think of beauty
i feel sticky palms and silky puffs of hair.
children, babies, arms wide open
as they wrap themselves around me
gurgling laughter, dirt and spit up
a baby's wide eyes when he spots me
buck-toothed, dimpled smiles and shifty giggles
at being allowed to stay up past bedtime
and mom will never have to know.
milky smells and rich, loud laughter
soft skin and band-aid cover knees
and tiny heads buried in my shoulder
is what i think of
when i think of beauty.

when i think of beauty i see
so much more than gloss and glamor
so much more than high-end retail
so much more than you'd even consider
so much more than you would even see
if you ever thought of what i think of
when i think of beauty.

Comments

AW! I like that! :)
lovely miss cummings